Rituals that resonate: 10 ways to make Christmas really meaningful to you
Words by Isobel Lewis December 10, 2024
From singing in community to baking it until you make it, here are some suggestions for how to imbue your festive season with meaning – on your own terms
Whether you celebrate Christmas for religious or spiritual reasons, or if you’re more of a secular sprouts and Secret Santa kind of participant, it’s easy for the season’s meaning to get lost in the haze.
But peer beyond the consumerist frenzy, and its universal appeal speaks to deep-seated human desires for connection, celebration and linking to something bigger than ourselves.
Here are 10 suggestions of rituals that can allow you to tap into these things in free or affordable ways, from foraging in nature to belting your heart out at karaoke.
1. Let the nostalgia flow ...
Whether it’s watching a film you loved as a child or doing the same walk every Christmas Day, there’s something emotionally enriching about reconnecting with the past. It’s good for us too. Psychologist Dr Krystine Batcho says: “Like anniversaries and other temporal landmarks, holidays remind us of special times and help us keep track of what has changed and what has remained the same in our lives – and in ourselves.”
Image: Annie Spratt
2. … while creating fresh family traditions
Still, one of the fun things about growing up is realizing you can choose your own traditions too. Kate, a Positive News reader, told us how she takes part in the Icelandic tradition of Jolabokaflod, for instance. “We pick names from a hat and each of us gives one adult in the extended family (and all of the children!) a secondhand book, chosen with a lot of thought and love.”
Meanwhile, James, from Norwich, has come up with a new tradition of putting personalized prompts for his daughter behind the door of a reuseable wooden advent calendar. Designed to inspire family bonding throughout December, they range from contributing to a food bank to enjoying a countryside walk. “It’s a meaningful way for us to celebrate the season and instil values of togetherness and kindness in our daughter,” he said.
Image: Elena Mozhvilo
3. Reflect on the year gone by and look forward to the next
The new year can bring with it a pressure to propose resolutions, but if they come from a place of negativity or self-criticism, they’re unlikely to help. (Not to mention they’re often unrealistic and unachievable.) But while 1 January is just a day like any other, the festive period can make a great time to take stock and look forward.
Writer Kat Boogaard suggests coming up with a theme for each of the 12 months to come: creativity, health or balance, for example. “I’m not roping myself into a year-long commitment, only to end up feeling disheartened when I can’t stick with it,” she explains, describing the changing focus as a way to “keep things fresh, exciting, and motivating”.
Others suggest simply starting the next year with a mantra or intention, such as ‘Ask and you shall receive’, or adding gratitude exercises to your daily routine to start off the year on the right foot.
Image: Alex Padurariu
4. Sing your heart out
Capable of improving our mood, posture and even blood pressure, singing is a surefire way to positively boost our festive season. Free-to-attend carol concerts are happening in open spaces and churches across the UK this month, but there’s no need to stick to the religious stuff if it doesn’t chime with you.
Most popular songs have a free backing track available on YouTube, so why not hold an at-home karaoke session? For me, the Christmas Day drive to my grandparents’ where my brother and I belt out Disney tracks is one of my favorite family traditions.
Or check out The Sofa Singers, which was founded by James Sills in March 2020 to help those who were self-isolating during the Covid 19 pandemic. It’s become a vibrant, virtual, global community, connecting hundreds of people across the world every week. Their next online singalong, costing £7.50, is a 90-minute session on Friday featuring Driving Home for Christmas by Chris Rhea. Altogether now: ‘Top to toe in tailbacks …’
Image: Hans/Pixabay
5. Reminisce with your nose
Smell has always been closely connected to memory, but the scents we associate with Christmas – like oranges, cloves and cinnamon – actually used to carry totally different connotations. In the 17th century, they were associated with the plague, as they were used to try to cover up the odours the disease left in its wake.
Historians reckon it was the 20th century when they were sniffed back into popularity, but you don’t need expensive scented candles to have them permeate your home. Baking, mulling wine or apple juice, or even gathering evergreen leaves from outside, are easy and affordable ways to tickle the nostrils this December.
Image: Joyce Adams
6. Give yourself permission to feel childlike again
Many adults say that it’s the arrival of children, whether those of family members, friends or their own, that reignites their excitement about Christmas. But even if you’re firmly in the role of magic-maker these days, you can try to adopt some child-like wonder this winter.
Trying to reframe your to-do list can help: for example, planning a meal for 12 can feel overwhelming, but thinking of it as a chance to show love to 12 family members who want to spend time in your home, could help replace the pressure with pleasure.
The awe we feel when looking at nature – from a beautiful snowfall to the first tips of snowdrops poking through the soil – is a sense of wonder we can all explore for free.
Whatever you’re up to, there’s something joyous about deciding to drop the cynicism for a day and instead to be loudly appreciative of the things we have, whether that’s a delicious homecooked dinner or the simple pleasure of a Christmas film, box of chocolates and putting your slipper-clad feet up.
Image: Joseph Gonzalez
7. Draw inspiration from around the world
There’s real richness in exploring how people celebrate the season around the world. In many European countries for example, such as Spain or Poland, the main festive event is a meal eaten on Christmas Eve. One tradition from western Ukraine includes the hanging of a spider’s web-shaped decoration made from paper and silver wire, called a pavuchky (‘little spider’), on a Christmas tree as a symbol of luck.
Kwanzaa is an African American festival that celebrates community, family and culture from December 26 to January 1. Over the seven days, observers recognise seven values and ideals, from unity and purpose to faith and creativity. Each night, families light candles that sit on a special candle holder called a kinara. Three are red, three green, and a black one sits in the centre.
Image: SeventyFour
8. Bake it until you make it
Food is, for many, a huge part of the Christmas celebrations, and baking and cooking with loved ones can keep the festive feelings flowing beautifully. There’s nothing quite like kneading butter and flour between your knuckles for some festive shortbread biscuits to decorate with children, or feeding a traditional fruit cake, which symbolises wealth and love.
It can also be a sweet way of remembering those we’ve lost. As writer Sarah Samudre recalls of recreating her late grandmother’s lemon bread after her death near Christmas-time: “Baking her recipe tonight was an act of mourning, a rite of remembrance. I felt so close to her.”
Image: Casey Chae
9. Connect with nature
We might not think of nature as being at the forefront at Christmas, but it’s actually central to many traditions, from picking holly and foraging for wreath-making supplies to eating a yule log. A glance at the Christmas cards lining your bookshelf or mantelpiece is likely to reveal a lineup of snow-dusted robins, reindeer, polar bears and partridges.
We can get out and do other things in nature this Christmas, too. Put your empty carboard boxes to good use by cutting out simple tree or heart shapes, smearing them in peanut butter and decorating them with nuts and seeds before hanging them in the garden or from a window. It’s a simple and effective activity to get children interested in feeding the birds, and relaxing too.
Meanwhile, the Woodland Trust offers these tips for planting trees, and Christmas is a great time for it, since the tree planting season runs roughly between November and March in the UK. A new family tradition in the making perhaps?
The RSPB suggests building a winter den for amphibians like frogs, toads and newts, or creating a leaf mould cage for hedgehogs. Giving back to the earth will always feel good, and help to root you in the season to boot. (All puns intended).
Image: Galina N
10. Practice the love language of gifting – within your limits
Christmas is traditionally a time to celebrate generosity and togetherness, but few would want their loved ones to find themselves anxious about gifting this festive season. To prevent present-related stress, consider setting a group price limit, suggest a secondhand-only policy, or propose a family Secret Santa to help keep things in check.
Making your own presents – from jam to bath salts, contributing a dish to a family potluck supper, or planning activities to enjoy with your loved one in the 12 months to come may even trump more expensive gifts. It’s the thought that really counts – and they’re likely to be much more memorable too.
Image: Kira auf der Heide
Main image: Studio4